‘ An Itch in Time ’
BY
MARY BELFIELD

Alicia had a key aim in life … .
To ensure her husband loved his wife.
She developed into a magnificent cook
And could produce any meal without use of a book.

For many years she’d watched him play
His Rugby matches … each Saturday.
Her feet could be numb, her nose bright red
But not a word of complaint was said.

After the match she’d rush away
To prepare her gastronomic dish of the day.
While Charlie showered with the rest of the team
To discuss their game and occasionally … blaspheme.

Meanwhile, Alicia back at home
Would work her fingers to the bone
Chopping veg and searing meat
To provide her idol with a culinary treat.

Life was quite blissful in Sandringham Way
‘Till Charlie arrived home very late one day.
Whilst eating her superlative ‘meal for two ’
Alicia noticed something askew.

Between each gargantuan forkful of food
Charlie scratched his cranium with fortitude.
“What on earth’s the matter with your head?
You’ll scratch it away, if you’re not careful,” she said.

“I’m not really sure but it itches like mad …
… I’ve just had a thought … the rotten cad..
He was scratching away during every scrum
With his ponytail brushing against my eardrum!!
Look in my hair and see what’s lurking
Hurry up woman and stop your shirking!
What’s the matter? Have you found any creatures?
I’m sure you have by the set of your features.”

“Yes, there’s a couple of parasites here
But don’t you worry, I’ll catch them my dear.
Then I’ll go to the Chemist and buy you some lotion
That’ll soon put a stop to their locomotion. ”

That evening when meeting their friends at the pub
Alastair greeted them, asking above the hubbub,
“Where did you dash off to Charlie, today?
First it was Clara … then you rushed away.”

“Charlie gave me a lift to the shops
To the Butchers to buy some juicy pork chops.”
Clara’s face turned pink then red
Before she began to … scratch her head.

Alicia stared at the frantic motion
Then handed her friend a bottle of lotion.
“Drink this Clara it will do you good
Perhaps it’ll help to thin your blood!”

She poured Charlie’s pint o’er the top of his head
“Maybe this’ll cool you down,” she said.
And glowering at the 'partners in crime'
She shouted, “You're both well-matched for you 'Itch In Time!”

 

© Mary Belfield 2010

 

 

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