‘ THE GAFFER ’
BY
MARY BELFIELD

 

I walked out of the interview room feeling six foot tall, instead of five foot two and a half. First headship at just twenty nine. Imagined I’d be Director of Education (Chief Education Officers nowadays) by forty? Later had to confess to hubby that maybe I’d only got the sympathy vote. One School Manager (Governor nowadays) dared to ask if having a young child would affect my performance. There was a noticeable intake of breath from the Assistant Director and I was asked to leave the room for a couple of minutes. I could guess what was happening behind the closed door- ‘Womens Lib’ had finally penetrated Education .Teachers nowadays were allowed to have babies AND teach!

 

First week in my new post and a skinny little fellow with long greasy hair hanging over his collarless, inside-out shirt asks,“Are youse the Gaffer?” Taking my bemused nod as an affirmative, he said “Yer don’t luk ole enuff, missus.”

“Oh, I am Mr …..”

“Donovan,” provided my Secretary, Edith.

“Mr Donovan. Anyway, what can I do for you?” I asked.

“Well Missus, my lad, Bobby-Jack Charlton Donovan, Bobby-Jack for short , doesna want to come to school. He says that little tyke, Jason Jackson’s bin bullyin’ ‘im.”

“I’m surprised to hear that Mr Donovan as someone supervises the children nearly all the time.”

“Oh, It aint ‘ere! It’s when they’re playing out in t’street. Is dad might be good wiv ‘is fists but if it don’t stop I’m goin to sort ‘im out."

I gulped but asked “Er, what do you want me to do Mr Donovan?”

“Well our Bobby-Jack sez he’s scared so I wondered if you’d ‘ave a word wiv him… please missus.”

Reluctantly, I found myself agreeing to visit his house later that morning.

After Mr Donovan had left I turned to Freda who was obviously having trouble keeping her face straight.

“What on earth’s the matter?

“Just a few words of wisdom. Try not to sit down, have a good excuse for declining a drink and don’t agree to him cleaning the school windows. He’s tried before. My neighbour gave him a chance and he turned up with a dirty cloth, a bucket patched up with tape and no ladder. His system is to fill the bucket from his customer’s tap and wet his cloth quickly before the water drains away. He then takes a few steps back before running as fast as possible towards the window and jumping as high as he can while rubbing the cloth over the pane”. When asked about the corners he said, “No-one looks out of them bits does they?”

I set off a little while later feeling very apprehensive and determined not to stay too long. However, when the door was opened by a delightful, but grubby, small boy who took hold of my hand and proudly led me into his front room, my resolve dissolved. I tentatively sat on the shabby, dirty sofa and was trying very hard not to stare at a sock protruding from a hole chipped in the wall when Mr Donovan entered the room. Obviously noticing where I was looking he explained; “Got a mucky mouse, missus so’s I put some cheese in the toe and one day I’ll catch the little bugger and break its neck.”

I sent up a silent prayer that the rodent wouldn’t feel hungry while I was there!

This, however wasn’t the end of my ordeal. Bobby-Jack disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a large cardboard box with several holes bored into the sides.

“Would you like to hold Sammy, Miss?” he asked.

I faced a huge dilemma. Did I take pot-luck with the animal in the box and gain the respect of my young pupil or did I take the cowardly way out and suddenly remember a pressing appointment? I smiled and said, “I’d love to hold Sammy, Bobby-Jack. I feel very privileged…er…pleased that you’ve asked me.”

I didn’t feel very privileged when out of the box came a huge boa constrictor who was draped around my neck as though it was a beautiful feather boa. However, my bravery made me proud for it paid dividends. The following morning, Bobby-Jack was the first pupil to arrive in the playground.

 

Later that week I received another visit from Mr Donovan. He was carrying a large bouquet of daffodils and narcissus wrapped in newspaper.

“These are for you missus for getting’ our Bobby-Jack back to school.”

That evening it was my first meeting with the School’s Managing Body. The Agenda was covered very smoothly until we reached the Any Other Business. The Chairman said, “I wonder if you would have a word with the pupils about their behaviour Mrs Buckingham?”

“Why, what have they done?” I asked.

“Well, I live just around the corner and either late last night or early this morning someone climbed my wall and picked every single daffodil and narcissus from my garden. Once before I caught some pupils stealing my plants so I expect they’ve been back again.”

This time I wasn’t proud of myself. I merely nodded!!

 

© Mary Belfield 2007

 

 

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